Self-Care Is Not a Solo Journey
Updated: Oct 19
They say you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. It's advice I've repeated countless times over the years. I believe it, and I understand the powerful message behind it. I also genuinely value what it represents.
'So why is it often so difficult to put into practice myself?'
Before I understood ADHD, I never considered that my neurodivergent traits might be one of the reasons I struggle with self-care. The frustrating thing is that I usually know whether I'm caring for myself or creating more burden. I know when I'm skipping the habits that help me feel my best and when I'm making choices that aren't serving me. All the while, there's a running commentary in my head reminding me of it.
Sometimes I wonder if there are people out there who do exactly as they please, completely free from guilt. People who don't have an inner critic constantly questioning their discipline, motivation, or worth.
For many of us with ADHD, that voice can be relentless.
A Lifetime of Learning
I've always been someone who looks after others. Partly because helping people feels natural and rewarding, and partly because it allows me to focus less on my own imperfections. Customer care and service have dominated much of my working life because I excel at it. I can read people, listen to what they're saying, and often help them discover what they really need. Supporting others has always come more easily than supporting myself.
I've spent decades learning about nutrition, healthy habits, and lifestyle, and I've implemented many positive changes along the way. Some habits have been easier to maintain than others, but through all that learning, one lesson has stood out above everything else:
'I can't do it alone.'
This has always been true, but never more than in the last ten years. During this time, my body and mind have undergone the biggest transformation of my life. Being widowed, navigating every stage of menopause, and discovering my neurodiversity have all shaped the person I am today.
These days, overwhelm and burnout hit harder than they ever used to. Too often, I find I'm patching myself up just enough to keep going, rather than allowing the time and space to properly rest and recover.
"Do I do my best for my health and sanity? Yes."
"But do I criticise myself for not doing enough? Also yes."
That contradiction can be hard to live with.
I know I'm not alone in that experience, as many women find themselves in a similar position. Hormones fluctuate and then decline, and what once felt manageable and tolerable can suddenly become difficult to sustain.
Self-Care Was Never Meant to Be a Solo Effort
It feels like my journey has come full circle and has naturally led me to want to coach others. Knowledge is important, but it is also about self-discovery, support, encouragement, and having someone alongside you as you navigate change.
Self-care isn't just about prioritising your own needs. It's also about recognising when you need help meeting those needs. And while self-care is ultimately our responsibility, having the right tools, knowledge, and support can make the journey feel a whole lot easier.
Thank you for reading
Jules x
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